You Might Be a Teacher If… (edition 1)

If Jeff Foxworthy can call in people to help with his "you might be a redneck if..." series, we as teachers can write our own. Here are mine:

• You desperately think you need a vacation, then think about your class while you are gone.
• You can’t wait for the summer vacation to begin, but you have booked the entire summer with workshops, a reading list, and revamping lesson plans.
• Everything you read you relate to how it could be used in your classroom.
• The smell of an office supply store gets you excited for school to begin.
• You know which brands of crayons give the best color.
• You beg for someone’s junk drawer to sue for an art project.
• You schedule family events around prom, and your kids are in elementary school
• You use a spoon to spread butter or to cut meat.
• You feel the need to laminate everything so it lasts longer.
• Your body clock of hunger goes off at 11:20 and a soy burger actually sounds delicious.
• The only pen in your checkbook is red (with a chewed cap).
• Your car is older than the ones the students drive.
• All your magazines renew at the same time, during prom fundraiser time.
• You have a drawer full of small candles, hand lotions, and body sprays after Christmas.
• You look forward to days off so you can grade papers and catch up on lesson plans.
• You eat concession stand hot dogs for at least one meal a week.

Now, do you have any of your own?