How Can You Change How You Will Be Remembered?

As the school year begins, I love to look back at the old yearbooks and see my incoming students when they were much younger. At the same time, I can almost imagine the futures of some of my returning students. I think about where they will be in a few years. I asked one group of kids today, “How will you leave a legacy of greatness?” They stared at me with a look of shock. On the faces of some of the more cocky students you can see them thinking, “I am already great, how can anyone forget me?” One student even said, “I will be remembered for how great I am in sports.”

It dawned on me to say, “I can’t remember who the quarterback of the football team was last year, let alone 5 or 10 years ago. The only way we remember the great athletes in high school is by reading the records boards in the gym with the longest jumps, the most rushing yards, the highest scorers, etc.” With that being said, I also mentioned people from my graduating class. I have distinct memories of many people I went to high school with over 20 years ago. Most of those memories are not good.

I can picture a girl who was considered the best dressed, but I can’t even remember her last name, and I couldn’t recognize her at the reunion. I can remember the most arrogant athlete who didn’t have time for anyone he deemed “below him” in status, but when I ran into him at the reunion, he didn’t have many people to talk to and left early. There must be more people like me who didn’t like him. I can remember one of the most beautiful girls in our class, and when I saw her for the first time in 20 years, she looked like an old shoe. She had spent so much time trying to preserve her youth with hair dye and time in the tanning booth that she actually looked older than me. I can remember a boy that used to bully other students. Many were scared of him, but others would not back down. He didn’t have any friends, other than the other bullies in our class. Where do you think he was when it was time to go to the reunion? In jail for assault.

So let’s look at the more positive side of things. I can remember a guy who was outgoing, interested in drama, music and basketball, and the underdog winner for prom king. He was fun, and tried to get along with everyone. He never had a bad word for anyone. Where was he? Happily married, with children, working in a job he loves, and volunteering in his community. I can remember the kid who was the smartest in our class, with the longest list of scholarships and awards. He kept mostly to himself, but had a few close friends, which is all anyone really needs. He was a CEO of a major design firm and married to a Victoria’s Secret model. He was still unassuming, yet, he was much more confident and talkative. And then there are the stories of my close friends. None of us went on to become famous, and none of us is wealthy. However, we are all successful. We are successful as human beings, we are good husbands and wives; we are good parents, hard workers, and contribute to our communities. I can go on and on…

So I asked my own students again, “How will you be remembered? As the bully, the bad attitude, a good student, an athlete, or a nice person?” Then I took a long pause while the students looked around the room uncomfortably. Finally I let them off the hook and said, “What can you do to change how you will be remembered?”