Today, as I am cleaning out my email inbox, I see the subject line "Rules of Life" without any indication that the message might be a forward. The sender was someone I know and can trust that they are not sending me virus-filled messages. So I opened it. I was fooled! Of course it was a cleaned up forward, but it really caught my attention. Here is what it said:
These have been credited to Bill Gates, but I have read that they did not originate from him.
1. Life is not fair; get used to it.
2. The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
3. You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school OR college. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone, until you earn both.
4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn't have tenure.
5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.
6. If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
7. Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parents' generation, try "delousing" the closet in your own room.
8. Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
9. Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.
10. Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
11. Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
This could be considered the list of things teachers want to say to their students, but don't. Some of these phrases I would want to say, but shouldn't. Some of these phrases I have said to kids. Other phrases I wished I had said to some of my "tougher cases."
Twenty-first century skills is the concept that in schools we give students real-world opportunities to learn. (Though I know there is more to these 21st century skills, but I am concentrating on this part.) We can provide them with job skills, career exploration, and let them do job shadowing and on-site job experiences. However, the students don't seem to get the "reality" of the world.
At one point recently, I did an exercise with income with my students. I asked them, "When you get out of high school, what are the things in life you want the most? How much do you want to spend for housing, entertainment, material items to have in your house, gas, car, rent, phone, food, etc.?" We didn't even begin to factor into the household budget children, emergencies, vices, health-home-car insurance, appliances, furniture, clothing, cable television or internet service. With that information, and a rounded amount for each one per month, we took a minimum wage job, and calculated how many hours would you realistically have to work a day, a week and in a month to have all of those things.
Then we talked about the importance of an education. I shared with them unemployment statistics of for drop outs, GED students, high school graduates, college graduates, and higher education graduates. We talked about the average income for each of these levels (based on the job they wished to do in the future) and again did the math from the first assignment. They then realized that even with an education and a decent job, they might need someone to help pay the bills (a roommate or a working significant other).
Now you would think that this might have some impact on students and make them sit up and take notice. You might even think that they would take school a bit more seriously. You might also be wrong. My students are running on faith, even after we did the math... even after we tried to logical and practical... even after we "trimmed down" what they want to spend for their life... they think it will all somehow work itself out. They must think that money will fall from the sky. They must think that there will be lottery to win or an inheritance that will fall down around them. Or, they might think that their parents will help them with money or they can live with them. What is it that is letting our students believe in this fantasy? Where have we gone wrong? I said a lot to my students trying to help them "see the light," but I don't feel like I accomplished my goal. I think the light is still fogged out in the distance and they don't want to learn the truth.
As a parent I question, have my own children seen enough of our financial struggles to realize life is not a piece of cake; or have we shielded them from the truth too much? Do they know that just because they ask for something, it does not mean that we can afford it? Do they realize that just because we have a credit card doesn't mean that we can pay it off? Debt is something that children don't learn unless they learn it from their parents or by personal experience when it is too late.
As a teacher I question, have my students realized how much things cost? Do they know that the laptops they are using at school and at home are about a $1,000 each after all the software installs, insurance, backpacks, etc.? Do they appreciate what the school is giving them to use; and do they understand that the laptop might be a luxury item they will have to do without after graduation if the price is too high for their personal finances?
Maybe if we emphasized the real "Rules of Life" we would have more realistic children in our communities. Maybe if we let them see the economic struggles, and the didn't shield them, they would begin to learn. Maybe if we as adults are more realistic with out own finances we can begin to teach our children.
“With unemployment at 10%, no one was going to spoon-feed, baby-sit, and hand-hold them - they would have to do their job and do it well to keep it.” - Unknown
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